So another night! I don't mean to make this blog depressing, but I'm just being honest. Maybe I'm a depressing person haha. That sucks. I wish my life was different! Maybe if I was always happy... Anyway. I became so overcome with fear and pressure that I broke down again. My rents got frustrated and told me I need to stop. I was just so scared of everything. I really have no self confidence. I need to everyday take a step back and appreciate it. Like.. Not examine everything under a microscope. Jaeson Ma was talking about that on fb the other day. Uhm. I'm spending too much time looking towards the future. Eg when's graduation, when's summer, whens Christmas, when's thanksgiving, when's my bday? But I should really be living life daily, as if it were my last. Cause I need to appreciate all that's happening around me. Like making it into BIOSOC!!! :$. I just gotta breathe. Remember why we're here. Pray. Not focus on the toy details. But think big picture. Continue to count my blessings. Not expect so much from my experience, or from myself. I hope I can always hold on to this. ALWAYS!!! I know it's not going to be easy. I have not challenged myself so much in my life before. I know I have great people supporting me. And I thank you dearly. I just need to stop digging my own hole of regret and pity. Start building a ladder. It's too easy to wallow in fear and sadness.
When will I figure this out?? How many tears must be shed? :( hm.
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