Day 92: Already?!

It's been so long since I've blogged!

Well actually, I guess it's weird that days feel so much longer
Yet they pass by so quickly.

I mean it's almost been 100 years I've been a university student. Omgosh I never thought I'd be able to get through the first few weeks. They were absolutely horrible weren't they?

Yea, we all remember the anguish I went through.

So many tears o.o"
ahhh.

Anyway, see, that's the problem.
Life seems to be flying away. And i feel so... I feel like a mouse on a spinny wheel thing. What do you call those anyway? :S

My first exams are coming up (5 days till the first one yay!!)
And.. iunno. I feel.. like I have to grow up incredibly fast.
I mean I was looking at grad schools and if I want to do vet, I have to start thinking about that like.. what NOW?!
Cause MCATS, tests, volunteerism, extra currics..

Am I doing enough?
What am I doing with my life?
What does God want to do with my life?
Why do I feel so.. alone?
Cause it's my life I guess.
And it feels like I'm doing this alone.
I really don't want to grow up
I felt so...

I feel like my existence is based on others.
Does that make sense?
It's like..
if I had 0 relations with anybody.
Then my existence is... futile? Is it weird to say that?

Like yeah I get it.
I was created by God for some reason on this earth
But what am I going to live out?

What am I doing?

Gosh. No wonder ppl are all like "uni is where you discover who you are"
cause this problem (or question?) needs-a-solving
And.. I have no idea where to start.
Scary!